It's been some time since my last article, and this one has been on my mind for a while. Good things are worth the wait, and the reflections here have been years in the making.
To Be or not to Be, that is the question: What if you're one letter away from transforming OLDER into BOLDER and into a more fulfilling life?
A looming birthday was a great opportunity to put years of personal development to the test and explore where I’ve been, who I was, and who I want to be. Adding a letter to the word “old” and making it bold, my playful mind immediately thinks of one of the most famous lines in English literature, Shakespeare's Hamlet: “To be, or not to be, that is the question.”
While Shakespeare's words have stood the test of time, sparking deep reflections on existence, little attention is given to the flip side: how we intentionally shape who we want to BE. It's not just about existence but about uncovering who you are and discovering who you can become. Many people don’t define what they want to be, plan their journey, or shape the outcome by setting habits and goals, which leads to greater fulfillment because it's aligned with their unique path. You can both be and become at the same time. Be grateful for where you’ve been, where you are, and have a desire to become the best version of yourself for an even better future.
SIGHT to VISION
This flip is where the shift from SIGHT to VISION comes in. It's about seeing beyond the surface and envisioning a future where we aren't just getting older but becoming BOLDER in every sense. Just as an artist chisels away at a block of marble to reveal the masterpiece within, we must identify and remove what no longer serves us. It's not about adding layers, but about stripping away the unnecessary to uncover our truest, boldest selves. By flipping our perspective, we move from merely observing our journey to passionately sculpting it, embracing every opportunity to refine and perfect our unique vision.
Here's the thing about vision: it's often something only you can see. It's a feeling, a knowing, a calling that resides in your heart and is hard for others to perceive. I once heard an analogy about putting on someone else's glasses; the prescription is clear for it’s owner but fuzzy for another. Many people won’t understand what starts to appear if you share your unique vision.
Ironically, as my husband and I approached 50, we faced another part of getting older—age-related farsightedness—and began to inadvertently produce quite a collection of glasses, also known as readers, throughout the house. What used to be effortless in how we see things now requires more effort, intention, and clarity, much like knowing yourself. Similarly, becoming your best self requires effort, intention, and clarity to truly see who you are and who you can become.
AGE to STAGE
Delivering a TEDx talk before I turned 50 was more than a bucket list item. It was part of my vision to share a fresh perspective on challenges and difficulties. Did I talk about it to many people? No way. It felt like asking them to put on fuzzy glasses! Many didn’t know what a TEDx talk was, let alone why I would want to do one or why it was important to me.
I struggled with questions like am I too old, is it too late to do something I dream of, and where do I start. These worries made doing it even more important as I tackled limiting beliefs at the same time. Part of my personal development journey involved moving away from the negativity and division on the news and finding inspiration from other platforms. I learned that the mental health crisis is often fueled by the daily drama on our screens, leading to mental exhaustion, judgment, and blame. I didn’t just want to consume positive content—I wanted to contribute to it.
TEDx is a free and creative way to hear people with innovative ideas from around the world discuss almost anything you want to know. The purpose of TEDx talks is to uncover new ideas and share the latest research, sparking conversations and inspire change. For someone like me, who likes to look at things from a different perspective, this platform is perfect to see many everyday people thinking outside the box and making a difference.
Figuring out how to find, land, and deliver a talk was a huge mystery to me, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me. When I discovered a TEDx event just 20 minutes from the very college I attended, I knew it had to be there. It was where I pursued writing and studied journalism and psychology, not knowing how they would come together. In my talk, I share the story of why I left that college and my dreams behind. (watch the talk here)
Reframing that experience and rewriting the narrative of leaving my career and dreams was incredibly important. I wanted to show myself and others that it’s never too late to chase your dreams. The event's theme was allegory, which fit perfectly since my talk was about "The Flipping Point: How to Reach the Flip Side of ‘No I Can’t’ to ‘Yes I Did’." Coincidence? I think not. Waiting months to hear back was tough; it’s competitive, and not everyone makes the cut. But if it didn’t happen, I was prepared to keep trying—no giving up. The hard work in researching and applying paid off when I was accepted!
Age is just a number, and each stage can be an exciting part of your journey that continues to get better as you grow, learn, and evolve. Taking to the TEDx stage the day before my 50th birthday was a testament to this belief. Was it coincidence or irony? No, this was another flip from irony to destiny. When you chisel away at your growth and habits, your destiny and destination align. Sometimes, it even brings you back to where you started, allowing you to return with all the gifts you've received (both good and bad) for something even better and worth the wait. Standing on that literal stage, the allegory theme of this TEDx event—a story or poem that reveals hidden meanings—mirrored my journey. As I became bolder, the plot of my story, including my identity, passion, and purpose, revealed itself. I liked where it was headed.
MATURITY to WISDOM
Growing older isn’t just about another year, adding another candle on the cake, finding more gray hair, and collecting more wrinkles. It’s about using what you’ve learned—those gifts, challenges, and struggles—to create something better, share your experiences, and encourage others on their journeys.
While maturity suggests an end stage where we have it all figured out, wisdom comes from continually using our experiences to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. Isn’t it cool that there isn’t a set date for reaching total maturity? We can always reach greater maturity as part of our ongoing process, knowing there will always be ways we can be more mature. It's not about age; it's about how we apply our lessons and relate to the world. Isn’t this a cool flip? I feel lighter already—ahh!
Immaturity can be present at any age, often manifesting in acting superior or only showing curated highlights—as if to convince ourselves and the world that we have it all together and have reached an unrealistic endpoint. It’s that hey-look-at-me-I’m-mature-now moment! I get that this sounds silly, but it is kind of the point of an immature way of thinking. True wisdom involves recognizing that growth is an ongoing journey, embracing change, and being authentic. For me, being bolder means not just showing what I think others want to see but aligning with who I truly want to be. Knowing that while you aren't for everyone, realness and authenticity could be the very thing that others need to see to help them on their journey.
As I shared in my TEDx talk, one of the first 'flips' or reframes I used was the F in FLIP: Find. This leads us to the next part of the journey, from Lost to Found.
LOST to FOUND
The first flip in "Find" in the talk is from Wander to Seek. If you’ve seen my TEDx talk, you know it speaks about not wandering aimlessly, letting each day go by without doing or being who you want to be. Similar to the childhood game of hide and seek, you can hide parts of yourself and your ambitions that need to be sought out. Some of these can be so hidden that they’re hard to find without help. There are many resources and ways to do this, and I wanted to both explore and contribute to as many of them as possible on my path.
One opportunity that put all the pieces together was being part of a study on high performers through high-performance coaching. Wow, talk about wisdom—someone took years of research to uncover how to clarify your vision, reveal the best parts of yourself, and help you create a plan to move forward more quickly. It showed me that while our paths and visions are unique, we all have wisdom within us to draw upon and can take bold action. I didn’t know anyone who was a coach or had been coached and thought it might be a waste of time and money, but I gave it a try. Talk about a flipping point! Each week, through a series of topics, we tackled challenges that helped me reach new levels of clarity and confidence. As someone who loves to reframe things, this process reframed my thinking to levels I didn’t know possible in many aspects of life. One of the later flips in my TEDx talk, from Influence to WINfluence, came from a session where we discussed this topic, which ended up becoming one of my favorites and I’m sure you will read more about that fun flip in the future.
KNOW to GROW
Putting the pieces together through small steps and chiseling away helped me reach a pivotal flipping point of finding and growing myself simultaneously. I remember the day it happened and couldn’t wait to tell Korey (my favorite traveling companion) that I had reached this flipping point in my identity—it was FoundHER day. These small steps over time lead to true alignment with who you are, helping you become the best version of yourself and allowing you to love the journey.
I don’t have to know it all or be it all; you just need to keep moving in the right direction with what you know and continue to grow. In fact, I embrace always growing and have become more passionate about helping those who seek growth. Through the high-performance framework, a research-based process that gets results, I took this passion to another level and became a certified high-performance coach (CHPC). While I thought it would enhance my ability to help others, I had no idea how much I would love it and how effective I could be in this work. My 25 years of experience as a travel advisor, guiding countless journeys, gave me the qualities that make me a great coach, helping others reach new levels of success in life and business.
It’s not just about certification of what I know learning the curriculum; it’s about working with others, training, and giving feedback to become even better. A similar feedback that I kept hearing, “I can’t believe you haven’t been doing this for years.” It didn’t matter where people were from, their backgrounds, or their stage in life—high performance coaching works with anyone committed to growth as I took them through the process I witnessed the transformative power of practicing alongside others. A great coach meets people where they are and guides them to where they want to be—not by telling them—but by helping them move from wandering to seeking clarity, allowing us to enjoy the journey.
Comments from those I coached often reflected this: “You are an artist in how you gain insight from what I say and use words to reflect them back in a helpful way,” or “It’s an art and a dance how you move me from stuck to discovering.” Me, an artist? As I boldly look at myself this way, I realize we are all artists and possess amazing gifts that we can contribute as our art in the world. As we grow older, we’re not just adding years—we're growing BOLDER. When we chisel away at our growth and habits, our destiny aligns with our destination, often bringing us back to where we left something, allowing us to return with all the gifts we've received (both good and bad) for something even better and worth the wait.
While I’m not Shakespeare (ha!), one of my gifts is using words creatively and writing. My mission is to use my unique gifts to help others navigate from where they are to where they want to be. If you don’t quite believe you are an artist, take it from me, you can reach your own flipping points of becoming until see yourself that way.
Much like an unforgettable trip you’re eager to share, I want to support others in finding their unique path. As you navigate your journey, remember that every step and every chisel mark brings you closer to your true self. Stay bold, embrace the journey, and let’s make a difference together. Follow along here or join me on this incredible adventure. (And check out my TEDx Talk for more inspiration!)
Love this! Midlife is the best.